Sometimes, we start out with a feeling. When men talk to us, we sense something about them but we’re not quite sure what it is. So, you try not to judge. And while dating here in Atlanta, I have gotten this feeling a number of times.
Now, I met Roger on Bumble. I literally chatted with him for about 2 or 3 minutes before realizing that there was something about him. I got the feeling when chatting with him on bumble. So I decided to unmatch him and continue spending time chatting with others online. Unfortunately, he had already asked for my Instagram, and I had already given it to him. To me, instagram was just a random blog.
After I unmatched him on Bumble, he came begging for my attention on Instagram. And it lliterally gave me an icky feeling but I continued to allow him to message me online. So, after he asked me out again, I figured why not go and get a free book to read on my way to St. Lucia. So I responded and said “sure.” At the end of the day, I need these dates to practice regardless of whether I think he is the guy so that I can find the one for me.
When I arrived at the bookstore, I immediately regretted saying yes. I told him I would meet him inside, so I could finish getting ready in the car. When I got inside I couldn’t seem him anywhere. So I decided to send him a quick message saying I would wait for him at the front of the store. Then I walked around the front looking for my favorite section, romance.
While I was walking around the It started with him popping up behind me and scaring me. When I screamed (out of fear) and clarified with him (kindly) that I didn't like it, he immediately shut down.
His behavior made the rest of the date terrible, and I learned I would never allow myself to experience it again.
It became painstakingly obvious that he took my lack of humor for scaring me as rejection. And I guess, in a way, it was. I don't think it is cute of a man to scare a woman. It seemed that once he saw that I wouldn't shrink for his comfort, he got upset. He wanted me to laugh or flatter that awkward attempt at a flirt, but I didn't find it funny.
After this, we walked around the bookstore for about 30 minutes. During this time, he did not say one word, a symptom of what I assume to be his attempt at emotionally disengaging after ruining a first meeting like that. At this point, I knew there was no chance. This man was acting like a complete child on the first date first the childish “boo!” joke, now this.
I tried several times to engage him in conversation and discuss things, but he would not speak the entire time. This type of passivity annoys me in the real world. It's okay to comment or speak up, especially when someone is talking to you.
But he wouldn't say anything. I eventually asked him several direct questions, none of which he would answer. He would look at me and laugh. Eventually, I just told him this was pointless and walked off. Nothing is creepier than ending up on a date with a guy who is too afraid to speak to you. He eventually retreated or ran away because he really couldn't deal with not being the prize in this interaction.
